


Copycat

by warschach



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Universe, Clones, Established Relationship, Humor, Lance-cest, M/M, Silly, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 14:03:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11358981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warschach/pseuds/warschach
Summary: Lance has a clone and it goes as well as you can imagine, which is not very good at all.





	Copycat

**Author's Note:**

> so I was stuck while finishing up chapter 12 of GL and i wrote this to unblock myself.

“Hey,” Keith called to Lance’s back as the blue paladin passed him with little more than a side-eye glance. “Lance. Dude?” He walked up to him and yanked on the collar of his tee to get his attention.

“Lance. Dude?” He walked up to him and yanked on the collar of his tee to get his attention.

“Yes..uh?” Keith, Lance’s former or current if the mood suited

Keith, Lance’s former or current if the mood suited it rival, was the red paladin. This Lance had some memory of him because he wasn’t really Lance. He was a clone so to say. He copied the human’s DNA and built his own replica of him. Trances, emotions, and images from the original slowly filled the gaps in his brain.

 

The DNA told Lance 2.0 the following about Keith Kogane, red paladin of Voltron:

  1. He was muy, muy caliente. Upon further digestion of Lance’s intelligence, he understood the phrase to mean Lance found Keith extremely desirable and a supportable mate. Sexy. Hot. Bic lighter hot. Red lipstick spicy. Sex in a bottle. Mouth a flame. Hands a kind bonfire.
  2. He wanted and had Keith in various and rather explicit positions. Most species procreated out of survival or like his kind, they produced asexually. The sex between Keith and Lance were purely recreational and out of pleasure and love since two males weren’t biologically capable of creating an offspring.
  3. Keith sometimes pissed him off but not enough to shatter Lance’s affections. Labeled as enduring.
  4. Keith’s eyes were a cruelly pretty shade of blue Lance liked. Sapphire. A stormy sea. Home on Earth.
  5. Keith was a friend, rival, and lover.



 

Keith stared at Lance 2.0 with his trademark scowl. Enduring. Adorable. “Well?”

Oh!

He expected this Lance to engage in the pleasures of the flesh. Lance sunk to his knees, stared up at Keith’s dark’s face, tugged his groin to his mouth and licked the fabric.

Keith bucked, swollen and long from the small tease. Lance 2.0 wanted more of that. More Keith. More breathy noises. He dragged his mouth up the curved bulge.

Keith moaned.  “What the fuck— Ah, wait, wait.”

Lance unzipped his fly. Maybe there was something to this sex between humans as a sweet little fire boiled something hard and fierce in his lower region. Hard, this Lance was aroused at the thought, the taste, and the warmth of Keith.

Keith slowed his hands and exhaled. “Lance, hold up.”

Lance 2.0 batted his lashes and licked his teeth as the original Lance did in his memory. It put fire in the red paladin’s blood then and again now. “We fuck, yes?”

“Lance. Uh. That’s cool and all but…”

“Am I not wanted?” He asked.

Did he misstep? Was Keith no longer enchanted with him— like he wasn’t Keith’s Lance but he was a mirror of him. A parody. The sequel.

Keith eased  Lance 2.0 on his feet and recovered his zipper. “What, no. No. It’s just we do this later, remember? Are you feeling okay?”

“I want dick,” he pouted, hard on obvious in his jeans.

The red paladin trained his eyes on Lance’s face. “Yea.  Yeah, no. I can definitely see that but we have training and shit so later.”

Ah, yes, there were certain duties required of the paladins and training kept the paladin’s minds sharp and skilled. The fate of the galaxy came before sexual needs. The original Lance knew this.

He nodded and said, “Find me when you wish to engage in the pleasures of the flesh.”

His face screwed up, sour. “… What are even those words? Look I’m going to get in some hours at the training deck. Go eat, Hunk made some food.”

“We will continue, yes?”

Training first, then pleasure of the flesh, yes? Paladins must receive rewards for their noble service to the greater good.

“Yeah,” Keith said slowly while he tried to decipher what the fuck was Lance’s malfunction this morning. Yea, Lance acted goofy and looney on the occasion but this was bizarre and bordering mental. “When you’re feeling better. I think you hit your head harder than you thought. Wait, where the fuck do you think you’re going? My morning kiss, dickhead.”

Ah, yes, the pressing of lips were a common greeting among friends and lovers.

He put his mouth to Keith, chaste and unfamiliar, then Keith deepened it. Taught him how to open that mouth and get his tongue.

Lance 2.0 trailed his hand down for Keith’s cock.

 Keith caught up quick, lips curling into a smirk. “Later, babe.”

 

 

[x]

 

 

Hunk greeted as the blue paladin strolled into the kitchen. “Hey Lance.”

Hunk, in Lance’s database, was a loyal friend from the Garrison. A supporter. A shoulder to cry on when Lance felt wounded. Bros, as Lance called it. Family. Friend. A loved one in Lance’s book.

“Hunk. Your friendship is invaluable,” Lance 2.0 said after Hunk bestowed upon him a hearty breakfast.

He shrugged, “Uh. Thanks I guess—“

Lance 2.0 leaned over and pressed his mouth over Hunk’s.

Hunk entered shock, speechless. Mute. Cationic. Lance 2.0 pulled out a chair and nibbled on his food.

The yellow paladin did the math. Lance was gay but like, they were bros. Platonic brothers. Plus, he had a thing going with Keith and Shiro.

So why would he kiss him and jeopardize his relationship with the two guys he’d pining over day and night?

“Did you just kiss me… “ Hunk smacked his lips and found a new taste on it. “Why does it taste like dick all of the sudden? Oh no. No. Lance. Please tell me you haven’t seen Keith.”

Lance 2.0 swiveled in the chair. “I did. I tried to engage in oral sex but he wanted to wait for nightfall.”

Hunk revisited his previous state but it was much worse because he had verbal confirmation to his greatest fears. “I’m going to brush my teeth. Forever.”

Hunk bull rushed Pidge at the door.

Pidge hopped out of the way. “Whoa, Hunk, where’s the fire?”

“No time. Cock mouth.”

“Um. Yea. Don’t explain,” she said watching Hunk’s shrinking back as he sprinted down the halls.

Pidge, officially known as Katie Holt, was the pilot of the green lion and a friend of Lance’s. Lance 2.0 was quick to make an introduction with the green paladin.

“Pidge,” he said, earning a long look from Pidge. “Despite your callous nature and deception, I am happy to call you friend.”

 Lance 2.0 cupped her jaw and angled her face up and leaned forward.

A hand intercepted his path. “Lance,” Pidge said, incredulous. “What are you doing?”

“Kissing.”

“You get your damn face away from mine or I will throw your ass out into space, paladin or not.”   

 

 

[x]

 

 

So Lance fucked up. Today.

Maybe you noticed a handsome devil moving through the ship with his brown skin and blue eyes but severely lacking the awesome qualities that made Lance _Lance_. This was the recap for you, Pidge tended to gather souvenirs from their trips to alien planets, their violent encounters with Galra forces and some of those fine little memories were shelved in glass jars for viewing pleasure.  One of these jars housed a benign looking sort of goo. Its transparent surface glimmered like gold, inviting. Kind of hypnotic.

So he took the jar, ignored the label written in black marker _DO NOT TOUCH_ , and decided fuck that rule he was going to see the fuss about this goo.

Bad choice.

It nipped him on the finger.

That pretty, glowing shimmer—

Was needle-thin teeth.

Lots of teeth.

And sharper than the edge on Keith’s sword.

So the jar slipped from his hand as pain coursed from the small puncture and shattered on the floor. The goo, free to expand, glowed a blood red and morphed swift and wide and built a shape in front of him.

And presto, Lance the second looked back at him. Naked. Brown. Blue in his eyes. Lips small and a muted shade of pink. Birthmarks dotted all the exact places. His flaccid cock looked identical. Guy needed a trim though if he had to be honest.

Then copy, cut, and paste said, “Hello Lance.”

To which Lance’s mind and body thought _well that’s enough alien bullshit I can handle in one day_ and clocked out.

He fainted but he preferred the word blacked out cause it sounded like he got into a tussle and not shit himself with fright.

So Lance fucked up and was in the process of fixing said fuck up without tipping off Coran and Allura and Shiro and Pidge and Hunk….basically everyone but Keith. Keith would get it. He did dumb shit too. Got reprimanded for his hot-headed nature.

 

 

[x]

 

 

Lance found Keith easy. Dude was slicing and dicing up practice drones with a look that meant _business_. The drones couldn’t hold a fucking candle to Keith’s cougar fast reflexes, the electric way he hopped and squatted on a dime, the whistle of his Bayard through the air.

He jogged up after Keith laid out his mock foes. The red paladin exhaled hard and used his shirt to mop the sweat beading on his brow. “Keith, did you see me today?”

“We talked like ten minutes ago.”

“Okay. That dude was not me. Don’t talk to that not me person. Talk to this me.”

Keith scratched behind his ear. “Lance, first you tried to suck my dick and now you’re—“

So this mock Lance jacked his DNA, his clothes, and made moves on his guy…oh. Oh, yea. This was war.

“What! He tried putting his, I mean our mouth, on your dick. Oh, this guy is so dead. That is my dick to suck. Don’t let other people suck it beside me and Shiro.”

“Can you seriously make some sense today?”

“So when we were on that last planet, you know with the whole Galra shit and everything, well Pidge kinda harvested some goo bullshit and kept it in a container. Which I opened and touched, and yes I see now that was stupid but whatever. So it’s not goo, it’s some alien bullshit that stole my DNA and is walking around like me but not me. There, can we get this asshole before he sucks any more dicks?”

“He did talk weird,” Keith realized.

“How weird?”

“Like smart.”

“Ha, ha,” Lance bobbed his head. “I didn’t realize a clone was a funny situation.”

“It is.”

“Keith!”

“Okay. We’ll catch him and stop him from sucking dicks. You should be worried that he might take your lion instead.”

Lance’s body felt the frost of winter as the thought settled. “Fuck.”

“You didn’t think of that?”

“No!”

“Chill.” Keith rubbed his back.

“You chill,” Lance countered, finger pointed in anger. He pivoted on his heels, cursing colorfully within the training room tall, white walls.  “Fucking dick sucking, lion stealing, copy-cat douche bag. Did that faker say where he was going?”

“The kitchen, I think. I told you— I mean him, to eat.”

Lance nodded at the sword in Keith’s grip. Sharp objects, perfect. If he had a weakness for bullets, explosions, suffocation, long falls, poisoning of any kind, and the forceful insert of sharp objects into his person then this carbon copy should be no different.

“Bring your Bayard,” he said with murder in his voice.

“Lance. He seemed friendly,” Keith reasoned.

Keith.

Reasoning.

What did that alien do to his cute, angry, short-tempered boyfriend?

Lance fished out his Bayard, cocked that bad boy out and shouldered it. “Fine. I’ll shoot him.”

Keith followed Lance as he stormed out of the training room and explained to his back. “It’s not like he got my dick in his mouth. He just licked my dick through my pants.”

Lance stopped and turned, brow twitching at the thought of some replica kissing his pretty boys like they were his. One other man was allowed and encouraged to open Keith front and back with his mouth and that was Shiro. Not Lance 2.0. “Describing your infidelity is surprisingly not making me feel better about some douche wearing my face, my clothes, and macking on my guys.”

“We kissed,” Keith confessed. “I gave tongue, my bad. I just want it out there cause I feel like I cheated. Sorta.”

“I’m not kissing you ever.”

“Lance.”

“Let’s go, cheater.”

“Christ.”

 

 

[x]

 

He failed introduction with the green paladin but Lance 2.0 had faith when he approached the black paladin on the flight deck

Shiro. The name and face prompted flashes of memories, recordings of Lance’s internal thoughts, the learned sensation of Shiro’s arms both of flesh and of metal on his body, his voice in his ears as he broke Lance easy in the bed by playing him up good and dirty with slow thrusts.

Where Keith was hellfire and the floating graveyard of damaged spaceships, metals suspended in the air with no gravity and catching the light from stars and suns;  Shiro was the mountain on Earth, the tranquil stream in a dense forest, moss on gray rocks, glass on the white shores.  Keith was bullets and laser power in the guns mounted on the ship. Shiro was the metal under their feet, the glass on the flight deck where it cradled the universe through a viewfinder and the quiet of infinite space.

A blue so dark , it tricked you into believing it was black.

A red so hot, your mind warned you to beware of all flames.

Keith started forest fires. Shiro brought the rainfall on the cindering, charred lances of bark spearing up from the black earth to the open sky.

How peculiar, these contradicting forces of nature finding a home and a balance within another person’s mind.

“Shiro,” Lance 2.0 said. The stance and his distant stare were archived in Lance’s memories. The other Lance would approach with grass under his feet and tap Shiro’s shoulder so the man wasn’t startled. He carried a universe in his hand and Lance didn’t want to overburden him with unnecessary stress.

“Lance,” Shiro smiled. Sweet like ice cream and frosting on cakes. Had Lance 2.0, alien, feeling sweet himself. A taste he had not known on his world but understood it had addicting properties.  “Thought you’d be out after that fight.”

“I recovered quickly.”

“Don’t push yourself. You’re allowed to rest. Galaxy’s not going anywhere.”

“You press yourself too hard. Your strength will be your downfall. We should have sex so that doesn’t happen.”

“I…don’t think you’ve recovered, Lance.”

 

[x]

 

 

Lance spotted Hunk. “Dude.”

Hunk made the cross with his fingers. “Nope. I just brushed my teeth. I will not walk around with the taste of Keith in my mouth— no offense to you, bro, but no.”

Keith shrugged, like _no harm, pal_.

“What are you talking about?” asked Lance.

“You kissed me.”

Keith pursed his lips and cocked a special expression to him with the caption _oh so it’s okay for your double to kiss other dudes but not me, who’s your man._  “Lance,” the paladin’s voice edged itself with something flammable; dry timber, brown newspaper, matches.

Lance shut him down before he could start an argument they shouldn’t be having due to the fact it was not him for once. Okay, this all conspired mainly because Lance got off on shitting on rules but was not that the most prominent factor to be glaring at right now.

“Me and you just had a conversation. Do not give me that look. And Hunk, that wasn’t me. Like I love you, no lie, but I wouldn’t mack on you.”

“So that was?”

“A clone. Look it’s complicated and I wanna shoot this guy before he does anything else to incriminate me.”

Hunk thought on the encounter he had with Lance 2.0 and snapped his fingers as he came to a conclusion. “You know he was awfully polite and he didn’t meme at all.”

“Bro. I’m going to pretend you weren’t insulting me.”

Lance got to give credit where it was due and Lance 2.0 was scoring up guys faster than he ever managed in his short life span. Whether or not this spoke highly or poorly of Lance, he couldn’t say for sure except guy was a player.

Keith, then Hunk.

Dude would go up the scoreboard and Shiro topped that chart easy.

 

 

[x]

 

Shiro’s back slammed into one of the chairs on deck. Lance devoured his mouth again and again like the first time Shiro and Keith ever admitted their feelings for the blue paladin; the guy had been a beast on the night of and moved back and forth between his lap and Keith’s like a pup with two new toys.

“Lance.” He got a reprieve for a nanosecond. Lost it when a tongue flicked inquisitively at his own and moaned because damn, his mouth was so sweet. So wet. Damn water all the damn time. ”Lance.” Gained breath for a burning minute, then submitted to lips again. “ Please. Ah- calm down.”

Lance 2.0 moved Shiro’s big hands on his ass and encouraged him to curl his palm. Panted right in his ear so wetly. “Shiro. I want you inside me. Want you so bad.”

“Someone could see,” Shiro said, hands pawing despite his words.

“Fuck me,” Lance 2.0 said.

And any argument or the start of a cognitive thought died there when Lance mouthed those dark words.

Oh well, he did try…

You saw!

“Shit,” Shiro broke away and searched the room for any incoming sounds, then cursed under his breath. Bad paladin, bad. “Allura’s going to kill me. Alright, turn around but really really quick ok?”

“Hurry, hurry.” Lance 2.0 unzipped his jeans and shoved them past his ass and waited with his body thrown whorishly against the chair.

Shiro shuddered.

What a sight.

Such _foulness_.

So _awful_.

Shame was on another ship to new reality far from this one.

Ass pushed out.

Jeans at the knees.

Cock red and swollen.

Thighs unsteady and wobbly as though the sole thing keeping Lance up was the back of the chair and his determination to get Shiro right then and there.

Damn, damn, damn.

If there was a hell specially reserved for misbehaving paladins then Shiro was getting his name penciled in.

He grabbed his hips and pressed the length of his cock. Let that guy know what kind of effect he had on him. Let him get a _feel_ for it.

Then Lance said, “Shiro, keep that dick in your trousers, boy.”

Shiro looked back. “Lance?”

Hunk blinded himself to the sight of Lance getting fucking bent and disrobed on the flight deck. “Why? I wanted a nice day without aliens, or lions, or Galra, or seeing one of you guys getting freaky with the other. I’m a good guy, right, I cheated once on an exam but I felt so bad about it I gave myself up to my teacher. And maybe I lied about not being a virgin, who hasn’t? I’m saving myself for marriage like a good person. I’m good, right, Keith?”

“Hunk, that’s a whole bag of stuff you should ask Shiro.”

“This is not a time for your existential crisis,” Lance hefted his gun. “Shiro, get that fine booty outta the way. Gonna add a new hole to this douchebag.”

Keith said, “Wow, Shiro. We all hang out here. Didn’t we agree not to have sex in this part of the ship?”

“I’m not in so it doesn’t count.”

Lance lowered the gun to yell at his boyfriends. “Hello, focus on this asshole.”

Allura waltzed in with Coran on her right. “So I was thinking that we— what is the meaning of this?”

“Shit,” Lance cursed. Momma hen knew, it was over.

Allura gathered in details one by one “Shiro, are you—“

The black paladin tried to think of something that could possibly redeem him. “Allura… Yea, I have nothing.”

“You are Paladins of Voltron may I remind you and to disrespect this ship— wait…why are there two Lances?”

 

 

[x]

 

 

With Lance 2.0 seized and cuffed, Allura directed everyone to the kitchen to discuss over today’s events.

The princess rubbed her temples. “So how exactly did this happen?”

Lance boiled it down to the facts. “I touched the goo, boom, I had a twin.”

“Then this is your fault.” The princess’ baby blues zoned and narrowed on him down the table.

The blue paladin showed his hands trying to deflect the maximum weight of Allura’s death glare elsewhere…like Pidge. Yea, Pidge. “I mean Pidge was the one—“

The green paladin hissed, arching her spine like a feline. “Traitor.”

“—who harvested the goo and brought it on the ship so like, come on, I’m a child who shouldn’t be around that stuff. I’m surprised you guys let me fly a giant ass space lion that could literally murder a city…Not that I would.”

“Pidge,” Allura accused.

“Oh so this is my fault now because Lance is a man child who can’t read labels.”

“I’m pretty sure this is how the plot to Alien starts. Never harvest anything from another planet.”

Pidge smacked the table. “Shut up, cock mouth.”

Lance snorted.

Hunk scowled at his friend. “Be quiet. I got cock mouth because you fingered goo.”

“What’s cock mouth?” Coran asked.

Lance giggled again.

Keith elbowed him because Allura’s new face hatched nightmares and dark things, plus something in there tipped Keith off that if he wanted his boyfriend to remain on deck and not torpedoing into a dark hole, he should interfere with his boisterous laughing fit. Even though Coran saying the phrase _cock mouth_ with his alien innocence got a snort from him too.

“This is serious,” Allura intoned, motherly.

“Sorry. Won’t happen again.”

“So, who are you and what is your purpose?”

“I come from a planet called Themyscira. Me and my kind borrow the DNA of species to expand our knowledge of species relations. We have no nefarious agenda.”

Lance propped an elbow on the table and pointed with skepticism. “So you basically copy people to learn how people fuck…where can I join?”

“It’s more than sexual engagements. We want to learn how species express and communicate across the galaxy.”

“Yeah…Good luck with that. Can you give me back my shit?”

“I have a question. You are in a romantic relationship with Shiro and Keith. How did you manage such a feat? They’re fetching beauties.”

Pidge tossed herself back in her chair. “Fetching. He said fetching. Like a real word.”

“This Lance talks like Shakespeare and it’s creepy.”

“Oh easy.” Lance reclined back; arms folded smugly over his chest. His grin spread wide and proud and caught the light just right so it twinkled back like a star in his eyes. “They’re sluts and I’m what they call on my planet, a smooth motherfucker.”

Lance 2.0 stared. “I don’t understand.”

He sighed, smirk shrinking. This dude was him, right, then why the hell did he have to explain his own jokes to himself?  “It means they wanted my dick bad and I gave it up.”

“So it was mutual? You did not trick them?”

Lance thought about the phrasing of his clone’s question, face scrunching up something sour and confused. “No…the hell are you trying to say, huh. I’m hot too! Have you looked in a mirror, bro? You’re welcome by the way. Allura let’s kick this jerk out.”

“He’s harmless.” Allura smiled as if the situation didn’t require all hands on deck to be properly and adequately freaked the f-out.

“He has my god damn DNA,” he reminded her and gestured hastily from the clone to himself in case she somehow managed to lose her memories of the past hour.

Hello, two.

Dos.

We comprehending here, princess of Altea?

“Which would not have happened if you didn’t stick your fingers in places they do not belong.” Ah, there was that fire in her blue eyes, pretty. Not too pretty to let you think you wouldn’t get an ass whooping of the century but enough to make you overlook that it was your ass on the chopping block.

Fucking aliens.

Being pretty.

Blowing shit up.

Stealing people’s DNA.

Humans never did— wait…never mind.

“…Allura, did you make a sex joke. You’re gross. This is a serious matter, princess.  Do you think mankind— no, the universe- could withstand two of me. Like no one would get laid, cause we’ll break every heart out there. I assume he’s a kick ass fighter like me. I’m a more devastating force than the Galra Empire.”

“He’s quite dramatic,” Lance 2.0 noted, privately.

The blue paladin hooked his thumb in his double’s direction and asked everyone who was not a DNA-snatcher. “Did this dude just call me dramatic?”

“Man, it’s like Lance-ception in this bitch. We’re breaking the laws here. The universe will collapse in itself if this doesn’t stop.”

“He’s right,” Keith agreed. “Two Lance. We can barely deal with one.”

The group hummed, finding no fault with Keith’s logic.

Pidge listed the cons of duplicates. “True. Like twice the awful jokes.”

“Excuse me,” Lance sputtered, mouth gaped comically.

“Twice the awful flirting,” added Shiro.

“Shiro. Baby. Why?”

The hunky black paladin caressed his hand. “You’re sweet but it could use some work. I still love you though.”

“Well at least with two of you, you can last a whole minute,” Keith laughed. “Thirty seconds plus thirty.”

“My dick is super sensitive. Leave him alone.”

“So what do we do then?”

Pidge had the solution. “Obvious. Kill one. I vote this Lance.” She pointed at the OG Lance.

“Asshole, I’m the real Lance.”

“I know.”

Lance 2.0 directed a frown to the group, a serious contender to Lance’s puppy dog face. “I cannot stay?”

Hunk and Allura cooed, utterly swoon by Lance 2.0’s childlike innocence, “Aww.”

“Fucking really,” Lance seethed. When he did it everyone rolled their eyes, let some wannabe jack his likeness and everyone was gone on the dude.

“Sorry but we have a very important mission and that DNA isn’t yours,” said Allura soothingly.

“I understand.”

“Good. Leave,” Lance pouted. “We don’t want you here.”

Allura scolded, face pinched with regal authority, “Lance.”

“For my short stay here, I have come to learn a great deal about family and love.”

“This guy sounds like he’s a spokesperson for PBS Kids. He has got to go.”

“And of sexual and platonic relations between humans. Your glossary of sexual position and engagements are dizzying.”

“Um. I've only been with two dudes so I don’t know…oh, oh wait. Wait. I remembered. That’s called porn.”

“You have a great weight, Lance,” the alien continued.

Lance examined his nails, uninterested of this guy’s farewell speech. Dump the DNA and go already, damn. “Yea. My dick’s huge. I know.”

Lance 2.0 lacked social cues as well as Lance’s hilarious humor and glanced over the paladin’s dismissive nature. “The galaxy hinges so deep. Your family is far. And your lovers are in the throes of war.”

How did this go from the integrity of Lance’s courting abilities to the roots and plagues of fear and anxiety in his heart; dude opened doors with signs on them, warning _do not open, dead inside_.

“Dude. I just want to have a day without some alien bullshit, take your Freudian psychology elsewhere and give me back my face.”

Lance 2.0 nodded, face crestfallen which, hah, did squat on Lance. “I will.”

Cool, easier than he expected.

“When you return me to my planet, I will return your face. I must pass knowledge on to my people.”

Lance clapped. Now they were in _business_. “Awesome. We’ll FedEx your ass in a shuttle.”

“We’ll take you,” Allura said. Goody goody princess.

“Or, or, we shoot him out the airlock,” the blue paladin suggested. “Problem solved. We’re not fucking chauffeurs.”

“No. We will fly him back to his planet and you will take him to the surface.”

 

 

[x]

 

 

Lance and Lance 2.0 boarded the Blue Lion.

“This is extraordinary,” Lance 2.0 awed in astonishment as he experienced the gravity and mass of the lion in reality and not through the scope of Lance’s memories.

Lance buckled in, “Sweet, right?”

“She is a beauty.”

“Yea. This baby can do a lot of damage” Lance patted the console.” We keep it tight here though, gotta leave something to the imagination.”

Shiro and Keith entered next, stabilizing themselves against the walls of the cockpit. Allura insisted Keith and Shiro oversaw the operation; basically, she didn’t want to chance the thinnest of possibilities that Lance might return with more than his person.

Keith nudged Shiro and jerked his head in the general direction of Lance one and two watching through the lion’s eye.

 The red paladin sucked on his bottom lip and made no illusions that he wasn’t scoping out the clone’s ass. “Twice the view, huh?”

Shiro planted him with an _I’m not mad_ _, just disappointed_ face. “You have no shame.”

“What?” He said, regarding Shiro. “It’s still Lance.”

“It’s a clone.”

“A fine ass clone,” Keith muttered and went back to enjoying the sweet bend of Lance 2.0’s ass.

Lance said over the two whispering voices, “Alright, gentlemen, keep your hands and mouths to yourselves. And that goes double to you.”

The blue lion landed on Themyscira’s surface.

“Thank you, paladins,” Lance 2.0 said, stepping foot on his planet.

“Whoa, pal. Forgetting something?” Lance tapped his boot impatiently

“Right. Come here.” He motioned for the paladin to face him.

Lance inched closer with some hesitation, found it when his double cupped his jaw with both hands and leaned forward; he lurched back. That mouth had been _everywhere_.

Lance gritted,  “Are you trying to kiss me now?”

“It is the only way to return your DNA. We must.”

Fine.

Fine.

If they _must_.

Insert dubious air quotes there cause Lance wasn’t in the market for buying bullshit.

Lance got in his clone’s face, clasped his hand on his nape, and snapped the clone to his chest and swallowed the gasp of surprise. Talk about playing with yourself, huh.

The other paladins watched, aroused and mute.

Keith bumped the black paladin’s elbow. “Shiro?”

Shiro answered with his eye resolutely fixed on the copies of Lance smacking lips and trading spit. Every breakage of lip lock sounded with a breathy gasp. This bordered areas of Shiro’s sexuality he never thought possible of himself.  Heat knotted tight when a hand strayed and cupped the real Lance’s ass. Any and all complaints from Lance went straight from his mouth and into the clone.

Maybe the intense and hands-on makeout wasn’t a requirement but it provided one hell of a show.

“Yea?”

“This doing something for you cause I’m—“

He nodded, religiously engaged in the ritual of DNA swapping not at all gaining any sort of pleasure from the borderline soft-core porn of his boyfriend getting friendly with himself. Nope, all business. “Yup. Getting there.”

“Gonna be the weirdest thing I’ve ever jerked to.”

“Same.”

 

 

[x]

 

Coran affixed notices in the dining room.

Pidge and Lance watched the ginger-man whistle away and read the sign.

 

**Notice**

**Under no circumstances is anyone, paladin or otherwise, approved to smuggle in other alien life forms without approaching Allura and/or Coran.**

**Second, under no circumstance, is anyone allowed to interact with unidentified alien life forms or substances of undetermined properties.**

**Third, in the case of clones, it is required that you inform Allura and/or Coran of the situation immediately.**

**Disregard of these rules will prompt the following punishments: no trips to space mall, confiscations of personal effects, limit use of the lions (unless there is a dire mission or we’re under attack), and enforcement of single person bunks (meaning YOU will be locked in your room from the time of night to morning, Lance).**

**Sincerely,**

**Allura & Coran**

“You think she’s still mad about the clone thing?”

“Shut up, rat.”

Hunk appeared behind them with a plate of food and spooned a serving into his mouth. “Ha. Now there will be a notice in the castle for forever because of you. Classic.”

“You want cock mouth?”

“Leave me be!”

 

[x]

 

 

Shiro and Keith had a different response to Lance’s fuck-up.

Mainly, they got turned on.

Pervs.

Keith worked Lance on his cock, in and out, fast then _slow_. Laid Lance on his side and got a hand under his knee and hiked it up until it touched Lance’s side, and now he was using that nasty and wide spread to fuck his hole like it was the first time. Keith moved like a monster. The enemy. Made it hard for Lance to get words and air in and out. Laid out flfith.

Said all kinds of nasty shit that got Lance’s head pulling 360s.

Shit like, “Spread your legs, babe. Show me that ass.”

Whined loud in his ear like a whore. “Fuck, fuck. So good, Lance. Makin’ me feel so hot.”

Husked like a fiend, voice like the ink of space filling every crevice in Lance. “Lance. Lance. Lemme fuck you. Want in you so bad. I’m so fuckin’ hard.” 

Shiro watched, waiting for his turn; his guys were the universe’s biggest perverts as they liked to take turns sliding into Lance and making him cry into his climax. Shiro’s eyes wandered past his panting mouth to the sweat on his chest and down to the pubic hair on his navel and cock. Saw where Keith was entering and leaving red and wet. Heard it too. Moaned real nasty and felt up his own dick to appease the urge to stick his dick in there too.

“Shame we couldn’t keep your double,” Keith husked in his ear, the sheets rustling under. The mattress rested on a metal slab, not the metal springs back at home, so everyone on the ship was spared the telltale squeaks of their sex. “Be nice to fuck you while Shiro fucked your double.”

And wow, this guy….grade A freak who powered the red lion and was the first line of defense for the Galaxy, harbored one nasty kink voyeurism.

Had a thing for watching-

Watching Lance getting his dick sucked by Shiro.

Watching Shiro slobber his tongue deep in his ass.

 Watching Lance and Shiro kiss, loud and hot an inch away while he pumped himself.

Watching Lance ride it as his dick smacked his stomach and his breath drew short.

Watching his cock sink inch by inch inside Lance while he moaned, heated by the sight no matter how many times Lance took him.

Pervs.

And they were supposed to save the galaxy and all; funny.

Lance angled his mouth to bite Keith’s stupid lips. Dick, talking sweet one moment and talking trash the next; met his ass with sass during their missions every time but the minute they walked out the lions and their suit, Keith held his hand. Kissed his neck. Told him not to be so reckless next time. Couldn’t get a paper cut without this guy hovering as bad as Shiro and yelling at him to be careful with his body.

“Sorry for…Not keeping a spare for you two jerks.” Palmed himself rough and quick to sate the edge of heat curling in from the thought, the hands, the dicks, the mouths.

“He’s jealous,” Shiro said.

And maybe Lance could scarcely see clear with Keith ramming him into a black hole but he knew when Shiro was smirking by the sound of his voice alone and that prick had one mother of a smirk on his sculpted face. Probably liked the idea too.

It would be the experience for Lance to see himself getting dick while he got it too. That meant sharing though and Lance didn’t share shit. Not his lion. Not his food. And, for sure, not his guys.

Dibs, bitch.

Get your own dudes.

They’re his galaxy. You guys could have everything else.

“I’m not.”

“Don’t worry, babe.” Keith licked his tongue up his neck like a feline. “You ain’t easy to replace.”

“Keith,” Lance moaned.

“Bet he wouldn’t be able to take it like you do, babe. Hot and tight. Greedy as fuck.  Ain’t that right, Shiro?”

“Wouldn’t move sweet like you,” Shiro agreed, petting Lance with hands that easily crushed skulls and stretched him slow and delicate not more than ten minutes ago. A sugary gesture among the dirty one Keith supplied.

They did this too— talked Lance up sweet and lewd to the stars they navigated and each praise, each word of seduction electrocuted him. Made him laughably hot and hard. Tried to spread him wider because he had to get it. More Keith. More Shiro. Faster. Harder. Wanted to be their little toy, their little prince, their slutty blue paladin.  

“My turn,” Shiro said, sliding in thick where Keith once did. Filled him up good but different.

  Lance whimpered harsh at the feeling. At image of what he must look currently, sandwiched between Shiro and Keith while they switched. Kind of made him something like a slut, honestly. Getting dick twice.

Felt good though.

Liked the flames withering and eating in his belly. The addictive twist they made at his dick.

Keith waited on the sideline and rutted, dragged his hand up and down Shiro’s side and palmed hard on the hard curve of his ass.  “Yea, Shiro. Do him hard.”

“God—fucking shut up, Keith.”

“Look so damn good, Lance, so damn fine. Taking it good, babe. Fuck I want a turn.”

Shiro groaned. “Gotta wait. He’s mine right now.”

Keith moved on his hands, cupped Shiro’s face and stole the man’s breath like a greedy thief.

Lance closed his eyes. If he watched, he would come. Come on, Shiro and Keith kissing like animals…like no one could survive that with all their limbs attached.

Could _hear_ them— Shiro’s ragged breath and the wet, obscene slurp of Keith’s tongue taking all the taste out of his mouth. “Fuck me too, yea? Once we get him done and stuffed.”

“Oh my god.” Lance jerked his head back because that voice was fire and had him jonesing for release. “Stop making everything gay, Keith. I’m a second from blowing up.”

“Yea, just me right?” Keith teased, ghosting his mouth by his ear, and dragged his hands to his ass. Touched there as Shiro pumped in and out. Slow, working Lance good. Got him whining by rubbing his hole before he fixed his attention on his ass and dug his fingers hard. “Not you, the guy taking two dicks.”

“Right. Not me,” Lance laughed— or well, ‘laugh’ was used very loosely. More like the middle child of a giggle and a whimper.

“Lemme in too,” Keith said. “You can seat two, yea? It’ll be good.”

“You’re nuts. Gotta learn to wait, babe. Shiro’s playing now.”

Shiro drove in harshly to further cement that point. Black Paladin had dibs. “Hot-headed Keith. Always in a hurry.”

“Oh, like you weren’t begging.”

“I don’t beg. That’s you and Lance. Begging for dick. Can’t get any peace with you two. “

“I’ll remember that next time you ask for head, Mr. I-don’t-beg.”

“You guys know what’s really gay…gayer than fucking me…that conversation. Homos.”

Shiro slipped out, maintained his hold on Lance’s thigh and said, “Keith, shut him up, would ya?”

Keith buck in wild, mouth a menace on his neck and hands white irons framed hard on his ass as he did exactly that— shut Lance up. Sweat danced down his skin, brown and glistening. The sheets felt damp under their bodies. Shiro’s metal arm brought the ocean to the firestorm that demolished his body.

 

 

[x]

 

 

Lance maneuvered the blue lion out of range just as a laser zipped through dark space. The hull of the lion trembled from the aftershock.

Shiro spoke through the coms, rich with power and an unflinching strength. “Everyone, form into Voltron and—“

Lance lurched his lion forward to Shiro’s, blurring past stars and enemy ships, a grin adorning his face “Time to kick ass, look good, win outer space. Yall fucked with the wrong paladins.”

Back to the Job, this universe needed saving if you didn’t notice.

Back to taking the galaxy by storm.

Back to the guys in his bed being right by his side in the field.

Back to winning this galactic war.

 

**Author's Note:**

> why did i write this again?
> 
> tumblr:pro-derp


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